Shalom Chaverim!
At first glance, it seems impossible to put ourselves ‘in Jacob’s shoes’ and identify with the feelings he experiences in the face of extreme challenges.
Thankfully, not many of us have 13 children, multiple spouses (simultaneously!), nor often find ourselves in the situation of having to ‘divide our camp’ as Jacob does after he crosses the river and hears his brother might be coming to attack him: almost like a ‘Sophie’s Choice’, Jacob has to make impossible decisions to save what we can when all is in danger…
And yet, somehow, Jacob’s extreme feelings of burden and responsibility, the angst of crisis, the terror and love and anger, humility and energy to act, the disarray and confusion – this and so much more feels familiar. Who among has not had to face our fears? To cross over a point from which we cannot turn back, despite the risk and unknown of what lies ahead? Felt humbled, and vulnerable, and utterly alone?
Even in its particular peculiarity, Jacob’s situation is universal.
One wonders what crisis in his own personal life led a contemporary and popular Israeli singer, Yonatan Razel, to write a song using almost only the words of Jacob’s prayer in this week’s parasha, Vayishlach. The words are the opening line of Jacob’s appeal to God for help and salvation, even as he’s overcome by dread and worry,:
קָטֹנְתִּי מִכֹּל הַחֲסָדִים וּמִכׇּל־הָ֣אֱמֶת אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ אֶת־עַבְדֶּךָ כִּי בְמַקְלִי עָבַרְתִּי אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּן הַזֶּה וְעַתָּה הָיִיתִי לִשְׁנֵי מַחֲנֽוֹת׃ הַצִּילֵנִי נָא…
I am not worthy of all the kindness that You have so steadfastly shown Your servant: with my staff alone I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. Deliver me, save me, please…[Beresheit 32:11-12]
The song repeats this line, almost like a mantra. As the tension of the song builds, however, the song adds another line, another Biblical quote, this one from Psalms 86:
כִּֽי־חַסְדְּךָ גָּדוֹל עָלָי וְהִצַּלְתָּ נַפְשִׁי מִשְּׁאוֹל תַּחְתִּיָּה׃
For Your steadfast love toward me is great; You have saved me from the depths of Sheol.
You can listen to the song here.
Does this song connect you to a particular moment in your life? To your life now?…
SHABBAT SHALOM!
Rabbi Michael